Tragedy has struck my school this weekend. One of our seniors was killed in a car accident on Saturday night . . . struck by a car driven by three other of my students. They said she was killed instantly. She was the passenger in a car driven by another student. Five lives in all have been ruined. One has ended.
Today we have a scheduled teacher workday; there are no students at school. It's raining. I am sitting at my desk looking at the 30 empty desks staggered on my ugly carpet and I wonder why this has happened. Of course you will all say there is no reason. I know that. As a teacher, who does not have children of my own, my goal is to protect my students from pain. I have no control over this. As I wipe my swollen, sore eyes in anticipation for tomorrow I can only hope that this will bring out the best in this community, not vengeful rumors and blame.
They are already blaming themselves. And there are already rumors. Some were drinking. Refused a breathalizer. The car was going 70 mph. She never had a chance.
Tomorrow will be the most difficult day I have ever had. The living must go on living. Tomorrow's essential question will never be answered.
4 comments:
If there's anyone who can guide their students through these difficult waters that you are facing as a teacher and as a community, I have the utmost faith in you.
Allow your remarkable spirit and love shine through-I know how difficult this will be, but we are all there behind you as pillar of silent support.
xoxoxo
Oh, Jessica, I'm about a month late commenting, but I wanted you to know I know how you're feeling. A precious former student of mine passed away through her own doing (a bridge, in Rome) this past January. I've been out of the classroom for 2 years now, but I tell you, these kids, some now adults, will remain in my, and your, lives forever (figuratively , and, now, thanks to a technology known as facebook, literally) and you (and I) will feel an eternal responsibility and protectiveness and love for them. And it hurts when something like this happens. I still wake up with nightmares.
I know you are and will remain a comfort for your students, because you're honest with them, and real, and you love them. My thoughts are with you, babe. I know it's a confusing and scary territory, because you're as hurt as they are, and, wait, when did we become the comforting adults? But I know you, and I know how amazing you are, and you will be strength, comfort and support for these kids. Call me if you ever need to talk about it.
XOXO
Allison
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