I have lost myself again--accepted into a teacher licensure program as a potential high school English teacher. A writers cop out on every level, right? Does a law school student accept a job as a fast food cashier? I know, I know--teachers are necessary and the job itself is anything BUT a cop out. But what does it mean for a person who was adament about making a living as a writer, no matter what it takes, to bow out so easily? Lack of self-confidence, I think. Thesauras or none, I have not allowed myself to sit with a notebook for hours on end since I left Santa Fe this summer. "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" Not deciphering hip-hop tunes and comapring them to Frost.....in my own space with warm paint and comfortable furniture--but just enough for myself and maybe a guest who is proof reading--a typewriter and a computer and lots of fabulous pens (no ball points allowed). Then to have time and peacefulness to spend with my own family.
But now benefits and social security plague those dreams
Repaying loans and movie tickets take precedent
Can I be more excited when I tell them?
Bread Loaf was far better than this.
Life sentence--until you retire.
But I will still get to teach Native American history,
well at least I can tell them the true story of Navajo,
okay, maybe I will settle for a Yellow Raft in Blue Water
Let's be realistic about administrations
No child left behind without a deficit.
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