What are the moments called right before we fall asleep, as we realize our best story lines, or the perfect words to quit that job and maybe the lyrics that will make us famous? Answers to questions and absolute clarity--and then it melts away into subconscious. Waking at dawn wondering how those things seemed possible--maybe it was just a dream--feeling your muscles contract and becoming aware of the weight that you have to lose and the dog to walk and the loans to repay. I should have gotten out of bed and written things down last night--tonight I will--but what if the burbur on my soles ruins it? I will keep a notebook at the bedside table--but what if the lamp wakes him up? I will have a flashlight to see my manic scribbles--but what if I sit up and the moments disappear? I can't take those risks--I will be thankful that I have moments at all--moments a pen or tongue could never replicate--moments of being that can only be.
As I write this I think about my father, who will be turning 61 in 11 days, and the gift I hope to give to him. Moments of his being that changed my life in accidental ways--moments he may be unaware of and those which he rarely gets credit for. Moments are just those--but memories are forever.
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