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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Longtime the Manxome Foe He Sought


The last couple of days have been difficult, and there are probably many people who think it's foolish to feel a little homesick and out of place in such a privileged experience. Firstly, there have been increased thoughts that this class I am taking, Restoration Drama and Literature, is not just out of my comfort zone, but out of my abilities to understand. I was really looking forward to delving into Paradise Lost, but we spent about one hour on it, on the first day, and then were told that we probably won't come back to it. I spent DAYS reading that book and annotating, AND doing my own research to prep me for discussions. Oh well. Next to the plays. I have always had a very diffcult time visualizing plays that I am not familiar with, and these 5 are no exception. I looked feverishly for video productions, and was only able to find one before I left. I find that I have to read numerous summaries before I begin reading the plays, then have to go back to the summaries as I am reading, just to make sure I am on the right track. Sometimes I don't feel worthy of being here, but was reminded this morning by my gracious (and all knowing) mother that I can persevere, and that I DO deserve to be here. As I trudge through the poems for today's discussion I have to keep telling myself that learning is about needing to ask questions, and to also remind myself that I need to STOP giving into reason. Nature should be my guide, but as you all know, my mind LOVES to get the best of me, and often prohibits me from success. This is my Jabberwock, and though I know it MUST be slain, I've yet to find my vorpal sword.

The other sources of discontent come from simply being homesick. With Aaron's birthday a few days ago, my mom's surgery yesterday, and my 4th wedding anniversary tomorrow, I just feel sad and disconnected from my sources of strength. As it is so cliche, I have to say, This too, shall pass, and things will move forward in this city of spires.

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

5 comments:

Mr. D. said...

nice quote. can you break down the different parts of speech for me please?

khkshimabukuro said...

Let this be your inspiration/happy thought for the day- Moulin Rouge follows the rules of Restoration drama like Beggar's Opera (Which became Three Penny Opera, which became Mack the Knife with Raul Julia!). They used the equivalent of pop songs of the time to move the story along (musical theatre was unheard of yet, so this was revolutionary)and flesh out characters. You can do this.

The Applicant said...

Chris--yes, in fact I can. I use this poem in class specifically to do that. HA.

K--thanks for your support and confidence in me. Things are getting better, and I think I'm starting to feel a groove. Will keep you posted!

Anonymous said...

I have a lot of faith in that vast and open mind of yours. be patient with yourself and have compassion. I believe energy crosses oceans, and I have compassion for, patience with, and great confidence in you (after all, i have a large vocabulary and you keep posting blog entries with words I have to look up ;-).

The Applicant said...

Thanks Emilie! I don't think it would be a complete, or valid, experience without challenges, both academically and personally. When I looked at the calendar today and realized I have less than 4 weeks left, I felt like someone punched me! Bitter. Sweet.